


A lifetime stuck in silence

by farbsturz



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Damian's POV, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, art included, damian can't sleep and misses his older brother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 16:23:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12915663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/farbsturz/pseuds/farbsturz
Summary: Life had been cruel but the boy guessed he had deserved such punishment. It had given him the very first human who had cared about him as a person, who had seen him as more than a weapon - only to pull this anchor out of his hands the moment he had began to warm up to his new life.Damian wanted Grayson back. He wanted his Batman back.





	A lifetime stuck in silence

The silence had always been a friend of his. Its death had warned him of incoming attacks, its presence had allowed him to relax, had allowed him to release a breath he hadn’t dared to share with his old family around.

 

The silence was his partner in crime and Damian knew he should savour and cherish it.

 

But some nights he wished it wasn’t around him, found himself thinking about screaming just to tear it apart.

 

It was all Grayson’s fault.

 

Before teaming up with the original Robin Damian had been content with sleeping in complete darkness and silence. Hell, he had even despised making any unnecessary sounds.

 

But Grayson had been the complete and utter opposite.

 

Their times together had been loud. When it hadn’t been the other man making needless comments and way too flashy moves on the battlefield, it was the older Robin humming or turning the radio so loud that the bats in the cave could have probably heard it.

 

Back then Damian had hated it.

 

Had hated the extroverted man and his way to cut through silence with ease. Whether it was an uncomfortable quietness, a thrilling scene in a movie or the moment after a battle had been won.

 

Damian wished for these moments now more than ever.

 

Since his father had returned and Richard had gone back to being Nightwing, the manor had been oddly quiet. The boy still found himself expecting his ex partner to burst into his room every morning to wake him up or for the other to fall onto the couch next to him and talk him into listening to ridiculous music Grayson used to love. He could still remember the playlist he had received as a joke once.

 

Damian would never admit that he would still listen to it whenever he felt like the silence was strangling him.

 

Life had been cruel but the boy guessed he had deserved such punishment. It had given him the very first human who had cared about him as a person, who had seen him as more than a weapon - only to pull this anchor out of his hands the moment he had began to warm up to his new life.

 

Damian wanted Grayson back. He wanted _his_ Batman back.

 

A part of him felt ashamed of thinking that maybe his life would have been better if Father had never returned. But Damian knew to push these thoughts away. Locked them into his heart like he had always done.

 

It wasn’t as if anyone had ever cared to look for the key.

 

Besides…

 

Biting his lip, Damian sighed heavily and finally pushed himself up. The blanket was thrown off his body and bare feet soon met the cold wood underneath when he stood up. His room still looked like a guest room as if he was expected to leave any day. The boy didn’t have any items he could call his and there was no motivation to make this place display an illusion of warmth he didn’t have.

 

The door opened with a quiet squeak and the assassin flinched at the seemingly way too loud sound. The manor was as dark and uninviting as always and green eyes took in the old fashioned decoration as he let his hand ran over the handrail of the first floor. Absent- mindedly he wondered how many times his predecessors had wandered aimlessly around in these walls, looking for something that wasn’t there.

 

The next time the boy paid full attention to his surroundings, his feet had carried him to a bedroom he hadn’t been in often. He immediately recognized it as Grayson’s room and when his hand reached out for the doorknob, Damian hesitated. He bit his lips and entered the room of his older brother, not knowing what to expect.

 

Its structure resembled his own room but with the first glance the assassin could tell the difference. Whether he glanced at the many souvenirs on the table or the books in the shelf, it was more than obvious which one of his brothers had been living here. He took a few steps to fully enter the room and looked around, taking in the superman action figure and various photo frames showing Richard through his years with the bat family and his so called friends.

 

Damian looked away.

 

Instead he began to pay attention to the books and with slight amusement found most of them to be related to Robin Hood. The boy remembered the time the other had actually read to him and even though Damian had complained, he hadn’t been able to scare the man away while being sick.

 

Despite growing fond of such memories it also hurt him to remember.

 

Which was ridiculous. Grayson wasn’t dead. Hell, if Damian so wanted he could steal a motorbike and be in Blüdhaven in less than an hour. Maybe come up with an excuse to go on patrol with his Ba- with Nightwing.

 

But that would be pathetic. And Damian’s pride wouldn’t allow him to give in to such an unnecessary flaw.

 

Grayson’s presence had made him weak. Had made him feel like he had been part of their makeshift family only to be left alone with Father and Drake.

 

An unexpected item soon caught the assassin’s attention and a tongue was clicked in slight disbelief as he closed the distance between himself and the other’s bed. Was that really a Nightwing Hoodie lying on the pillow? Sure, Damian knew that there was merchandise of Batman and the Justice League, had seen the ridiculous photos on which Grayson had worn some superman PJs in all seriousness. It might have seemed ‘cute’ on a child but his brother had been in his early twenties and had shown no sign of embarrassment or regret wearing it.

 

But to think that the former Robin had bought his _own_ merchandise was something Damian hadn’t expected. And yet it seemed so obvious. After all this was the same man who once had dunked his bacon into cereal, explaining that he had been on his way to create a new delicacy.

 

Reaching for the hoodie, green eyes took in the blue bird expanding its wings onto the sleeves while the rest remained black. Damian didn’t know what had driven him to do it but a few seconds later he found himself wearing the piece of cloth which was clearly a few sizes too big. His arms were too short and the boy could have used the sleeves as whips. A quick glance into the closet’s mirror was enough to tell him that he looked more than ridiculous but somehow Damian couldn’t have cared less. Seeing his brother’s symbol on his own chest filled him with an odd kind of pride and the boy felt warmer than he had been before entering the room.

 

The expected exhaustion finally caught up to him and the ticking clock on the wall told Damian that it was already past 4am. Not feeling like going back to his own room, the boy climbed onto the bed of the former Robin and nestled into the too heavy blanket. Really, how could Grayson sleep with so many covers?

 

Once again the youngest Wayne released a small sigh and found peace in his sleep as the clock never allowed the silence to wrap its arms around the boy.

 

This night Damian dreamed of pigs, women with holes in their heads and people with golden wings.

 

He couldn’t have slept more peacefully.

 

* * *

 

                                                                          

 

Waking up to some ridiculously loud footsteps in the hall, Damian groaned heavily and buried his head underneath the pillow. He didn’t know what time it was but he sure as hell knew that he didn’t want to get up just yet. However, whoever was stomping outside his room came closer and the boy could sadly guess what their destination was.

 

Sure enough it only took a few passing moments before his door was opened without any regards to privacy but the boy froze upon hearing the too familiar humming coming to a stop.

 

“What the… Damian?”

 

The called one hesitantly threw the blanket off his body and sat up, only now understanding that he hadn’t been sleeping in his own room. Confused green eyes looked up into wide blue and Damian didn’t understand why Grayson was staring at him like that.

 

Until he looked down at himself.

 

He realized too late that he was still wearing the Nightwing Hoodie and with horror blossoming on his own face, Damian was quick to crawl back underneath the blanket.

 

“Awww Dami! Is that my hoodie? Are you actually wearing _my_ merchandise? If I had known you see me as an idol I would have gotten you one in your size.”

 

Damian could hear both the amusement and affection in his brother’s voice and even though he groaned in return, the assassin couldn’t hide the smile on his face.

 

“If anything I see you as an idiot, Grayson.”

 

The laughter he got in return was as bright and loud as always and Damian didn’t miss the silence he once had cherished.

 

No matter how many things might have changed since his father had returned, Damian could trust that his brother’s presence would always be noticeable.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Art by the incredible [mildlycuriousdragon](http://mildlycuriousdragon.tumblr.com/)
> 
> My tumblr: [farbsturz](http://farbsturz.tumblr.com/)


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